Buddhas and tear stained pillows

Category: Romance/Dating
I’ve been thinking lately that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to take so many of S’s things. At the time it seemed harmless and I just couldn’t bare the thought of them winding up in the garbage. Especially the Buddha statues that he had. But I keep on thinking about the notion that people imprint a little bit of their energy onto their personal items. Especially things that have emotional meaning to them. Plus just the constant visual reminder of him is a little disconcerting.
I know what some of you are thinking, “Oh my God when did she become a crunchy, granola new age freak?” Well it is something I believe and since I believe it, it affects me. Right now the Buddhas are on top of my dresser in my bedroom. I feel like this isn’t a good idea. I keep on thinking I should do a cleansing ritual which involves some of the stuff that I took. It can’t hurt and plus it might help me close the chapter in my life that included him. I have to do research and of course I don’t have the time or energy right now to do that. Oh well, I guess there can’t really be any harm in it. In fact maybe if I incorporate them more into my life they’ll actually help me .If it becomes too much for me I can always move them into the living room.


I was doing some research on what the figures symbolizes and from what I’ve found so far maybe they were meant to come into my life. I feel like things happen for a purpose. Eventually you get the opportunity to look back on trials that have happened in your life and learn from them.

Buddha in meditation pose. It symbolizes the perfect balance between thought and tranquility. Coincedence?

It is frustrating that I didn’t get a chance to learn more about S before he left. I have to say that there were so many things that he had as personal possessions that really clicked with me. I’m kinda surprised that he never really said anything. After all he has been in my room several times. Granted he wasn’t really there for the cultural significance. But there were times when we weren’t breathing heavily. ; )

I feel like we’ll continue to be friends though. I’m pretty sure that’s not wishful thinking. If anything my biggest clue was the fact that he kissed me goodbye when I saw him last. I wasn’t really expecting to get a kiss goodbye. Maybe it was out of habit. I was just going for a hug. At least I thought I was. Who knows? You know it was a pretty sappy romantic scene now that I think about it.
(Insert sappy music here) The final goodbye, rain pouring down around us. A cab waiting to whisk me away. One final kiss under a street light.
Geez, maybe I should try wrting romances. I have a pretty keen turn of phrase. Well I have noticed that I have strayed form the subject yet again. I guess I’ll end this here. I think I’m going to start working on an email that I’ll send to him at the end of the week. I have a feeling that there will be several revisions. Alls well for now. Hopefully tonight I’ll be able to make it through the night with a dry pillow. If not tonight then soon. Time heals all.